lucid dreaming

at 0330am i am perfectly

lucid in a squatted patch

of space among filtered

subliminal contusions.

i am entering a theor[y]

-etical mind over matter

in a grammatic pause or

a cause to speak or to be

spoken .

0335am awake i am

slipping through the

grip of reality. i am

sinking, swimming,

in this deflated water

with these wings .

i am high above the

unjust irrationality of

just sticking to the [ ]

rules. i am coming .

unglued stealing love

lies from an honest

pair of eyes just to

survive what i am

alone becoming.

unhinged at 0341[ ] am

a broken door through

which [ ] go in and out,

swinging back and forth

between (k)nightmares

and seizures of grandeur

i am a tangible sonnet

beautiful. different. new

secretly shifting through

running sentences and

manic metaphors i am a

volatile creature wringing

hands clutching fire.

0350am whispers heavy

silence is the only answer.

JANEisnotplain 1.22.11  0358am
from the dream book series

unlocking JANE

unlocking Jane

lately the words in my head

have been very loud. banging

sometimes without any rhythm.

sometimes to my pulse, my

lust. but i am all in my [head].

my words are constantly chattering.

often they awaken me to my Self

having a heated conversation with

Self answering my own questions

about colors, conundrums, and the

uselessness of  sentence structure.

individually they are each only

words. tiny, miniscule capsules

of expressions that i re-use, re-

think, re-cycle, re-call, re-order,

into thoughts, breaths, and ideas.

compressed into columns  and

constructs on notion bound pages.

they want to build new stories,

these words. they come at me.

all with hidden agendas, thoughts,

wants,and needs. they are tortured,

enunciated, played out, stacked up

but still trying most desperately to

conjugate a new sentence or to

complete a smile.

i use words. not legs to seduce.  hard

bound shapely words like [anticipation].

to expose doors and open windows wide

to confess that this is what i want is my

words to make you feel my thoughts my

touch. i am more than black ink on white

paper.

i carry my words close as if i may

need them any moment, day ,hour,

minute, second, if we all fall down.

and i draw the delusional curtains and

sing private lullabies under the guise of

infinite and the definition of  struggle.

i hope no one notices that. i am these

words. raw. chaotic. complex. kinetic.

superfluous. scribbled. even beautiful.

sometimes running on from  sentences

and metaphors. slight in frame. distorted

in look they pour out undefined. unlabled.


JANEisnotplain 5.15.10

pieced together from a series of sleepless nights

bare crosses

bare crosses

i am naked

like a frame

up on blocks

stripped bare

barely standing

rusted through

wiped out by rain

my brain my heart

my bones my skin

 exposed.

i am naked

but not everyone

can see me.

JANEisnotplain 1.18.10

dreamed 0248sm

snowflakes

snowflakes


there are snowflakes as big as my heart and
they catch as globs in angry jealous winds
naked souls dancing through tree tops quivering
frozen in soft kisses around cold little feet
currently vulnerable waiting for warm hands
to defrost my fragile chest gently sneaking
through my window there is beauty. there is
wonder. there is faith. there are snowflakes.

JANEisnotplain

1.2.10 am

driving insanity until dawn

0745am 2010: driving insanity until dawn

i am at a borderline.// my personality meets me halfway.// but i am still Myself.//

i am at that /place where thoughts grow/ragged/and bending light/shifts through

words creating spaces.//

if i were to leave this space.// if i were to disappear into .//  broken atmospheres/

of the past/ of the future/ of the present/ crossing.// between/blurred boundaries

and textured contours?//

space is an illusion of/ depth and movement.// and my left foot is racing my right.// in horizontal timed rhymes/but i am still Myself.// standing with this disorder/ in order.//

i am an intersection/of zeros and ones/ at a border a/ cross between/ my life lines and sky lines.// but i am still Myself.//i am driving insanity/ toward the sunrise.//  released.//

JANEisnotplain

begun on 12/28/09, finished 1/1/10 at 0745am on carroll st.

 

exquitiste chaos

exquisite chaos

i woke up with my hand on a thousand nerve endings.

neurons that respond to light stimuli flickering and firing

bits of neural code mapping the steady rise of visceral blood

pounding the raw limits of imagination for pleasure only.

how did this happen? and by what means?

JANEisnotplain 12/30/09

0345am project

0330 am: out of control

 0330 am: out of control

[   ] want so much and [  ] are just doing [   ] best

and [   ] see things there that no one else does and

[   ] keep tripping and banging into walls of worth-

less conversation but [   ] keep going because [   ]

know its worth it and people say that the journey

matters but of course the destination does too or

what is the point if [   ] are too real for anyone to

comprehend and too passionate to the point of

self indulgent excess and all of life is focused on

a single point that is out of control.

[   ] really just want to kiss [    ].

JANEisnotplain 10.30.09  0349am