thankful

thankful:

for hot baths and the /hot water heaters that / reach boiling points and/ soak into my skin in a /most painfully pleasant /way. // for pencils and erasers/ but more so for pens and / the fact that ink does not  /erase so it forces me to / accept what i write even /if it’s honest, raw or ugly.// for acceptance from and / for the people in my life/ who take me exactly as/ i am and swallow me /whole.//  for sleep and for the / [ ] that help[s] me sleep/the coffee that wakes me/up on nights i cannot sleep.// for changes in me and others in the world for/ new opportunities and the/ never ending row of doors waiting/ to be opened by me.//

JANEisnotplain 0330 am 1.28.11

lucid dreaming

at 0330am i am perfectly

lucid in a squatted patch

of space among filtered

subliminal contusions.

i am entering a theor[y]

-etical mind over matter

in a grammatic pause or

a cause to speak or to be

spoken .

0335am awake i am

slipping through the

grip of reality. i am

sinking, swimming,

in this deflated water

with these wings .

i am high above the

unjust irrationality of

just sticking to the [ ]

rules. i am coming .

unglued stealing love

lies from an honest

pair of eyes just to

survive what i am

alone becoming.

unhinged at 0341[ ] am

a broken door through

which [ ] go in and out,

swinging back and forth

between (k)nightmares

and seizures of grandeur

i am a tangible sonnet

beautiful. different. new

secretly shifting through

running sentences and

manic metaphors i am a

volatile creature wringing

hands clutching fire.

0350am whispers heavy

silence is the only answer.

JANEisnotplain 1.22.11  0358am
from the dream book series